moon letter

According to discover magazine.com, "Laser beams bounced off mirrors left behind by Apollo astronauts show that the moon is moving 1.5 inches farther from Earth each year."

Dear Moon,
I noticed you haven't been responding to my emails or texts. Then I read this thing on the internet about you moving away. I'm sorry to say I've been so wrapped up in my own affairs I haven't even noticed. I hope you'll consider moving back. I'm not sure what I did to upset you but I have a few ideas. Was it all the cheese jokes? I know you're not really made of cheese, that would be stupid. I mean we've sent astronauts to your surface. They never said anything about dairy products. Do you feel bad that you only reflect the Sun's light and don't have any of your own? I know the Sun can be cocky. He reminded me yesterday for about the thousandth time that if he moved only a little towards me or away from me I would burn up or freeze to death, respectively. You just have to ignore him sometimes. He's really been insufferable since this whole global warming thing. What about giving you credit for the tides? That's got to count for something doesn't it? I mean where would I be without tides? I wouldn't be able to...umm...wash away sandcastles without you. I know that whole face on the moon fiasco embarrassed you. I mean that photo doesn't look anything like you. We've all had bad photos though right? Remember that picture of us at prom? My continents looked all squished together. Everyone starting calling me Pangaea after that. I hated that name. I still do. My point is, I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us. I do miss you though. What do you say? Move a half an inch back and see what you think. Meanwhile, I'll talk to all the other guys about the cheese stuff. Hope to hear from you soon.
Earth